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How To Stay Mysterious: Your Guide To Emotional Gatekeeping

by Ellie Zeiler

Just because you want to say it, doesn't mean it needs to be said. We're all guilty of pouring out our thoughts, emotions and feelings, WAY too soon. Although it's extremely important to communicate how you feel or what's going on in your day-to-day life, sometimes it's important to hold some things back until the right time. Trust me, it's a lot easier said than done and this is something that we are all learning how to do together. Lucky for you, I'm here to tell you all of the best tips and tricks I have to stay a little more mysterious!

1. Move More Silently

Don’t tell everyone you’re every move. In simpler terms, sometimes I literally have to tell myself, “Shut TF up Ellie”! Yes, these words go through my head often. I happen to be the kind of person that would tell a random ant my life story if it would listen. I’ve since learned that people try to take things away from you once they know you’re happy.

Whether that be a boy that a stranger will message JUST because you said you have a crush on them or a job opportunity you’re excited for, that they try to sabotage. Keep bad energy out of your happy life! Wait to see who someone is before you let them into your energy.

2. Don't Always Be An Open Book

Know the specific things you like and keep them to yourself. In my head, while I am writing this, the words that come to mind are "emotional gatekeeping." To me, these are the special things you think about that give you joy in life. Whether it’s looking out of an airplane window when you’re taking off or reading subtitles on movies, it's specific things that only close people in your life should know. Gatekeep the small things that give you hope.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, unhappy people try to take things away from you. Do not let these people in until you fully know them. Yes, I know it is very hard to fully know a person. I'm just saying maybe wait a month before you tell someone you met at a party about your dreams in life :)

3. Make Your Life Your Movie

Pretend you’re in a movie. I used to do this in high school and I swear it’s what got me through endless lunch periods with mean girls. I walk down the hallways listening to a soundtrack of my favorite movies and shows (Lady Bird, Gilmore Girls, Gossip Girl), and I pretend I’m Charlotte York walking down 5th Ave in New York… not Ellie Zeiler dodging mean girls in 11th grade. Walk with conviction wherever you go. Make people think you have somewhere to go and something to accomplish. People are drawn to confidence, so fake it till ya make it.

All of these tips I just wrote were because I did the exact opposite at some point in my life and I learned these. Being “mysterious and confident” does not come overnight. You my dear are a whole beautiful ecosystem of happiness, love, and success!!! Bad energy does not deserve to even come close to that bubble. Protect yourself. We got this!


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