By: Shaylin Smith
As the school year comes to an end, the days are lengthening and the summer air begins to stir. The undeniable excitement of summer is on the horizon. Clothing layers get peeled off as sweaters turn into tank tops and baggy jeans become short shorts. Beach days, parties by the pool, tanning with friends, and all of the exciting summer activities start happening but at the same time, an underlying anxiety about free time and social engagements creates an ache in the pit of your stomach. You remember that summer is not exactly what it used to be.
Despite the three months of “nothing to do but vacation”, summer time can really shake your confidence. With its change from a predictable school year routine, a focus on revealing attire and emphasis on body image, summer can often be a time riddled with self-doubt and comparison. Have you ever been sitting in the sun in your bikini but constantly thinking about what your stomach looks like? Or picking out your outfit for that party by the pool trying to decide what bathing suit hits you just right only to end up with your room a disaster, your floor covered in rejected outfits, bikinis and coverups, and you are left feeling hopeless. Or worst of all, no matter what you wear, or how beautiful you look, you find yourself staring at everyone around you, comparing yourself and your body to theirs.
Things do not need to be this way!! Despite these normal feelings, it is possible to break free from self-doubt and embrace summer with open arms. Summer can be filled with joy and spontaneity with only a few simple changes. Change your love/hate relationship with summer by following these five tips and boost your self confidence:
1. Positive Self Talk
Imagine if you lived in your best friend's body for a day. How would you treat it? I’m assuming that because you love and value them and their bodies, you would treat it with respect and appreciate its beauty. You need to treat yourself the same! You need to be kind to yourself! We are our biggest critics,and our mind can be our biggest enemy. In the moments you feel insecure or self conscious, remind yourself of your beauty. For every one negative thing you think, try giving yourself three compliments. It’s okay to not love every single thing about yourself, but be honest with yourself about how much there is to love and how valuable you are as a person. People say “you are what you eat.” If you live eating negative comments about yourself every single day, that will decrease your mental health and prevent you from enjoying the amazing and capable body you have been given. Feed yourself positive thoughts to become a positive, confident person.
2. Stop Comparing Yourself
Someone’s page on social media includes only selected and orchestrated moments, hand picked by the user where only the best, most “acceptable” parts of oneself and life are chosen and presented. Social media presents a glamorized and unattainable version of life, displaying the most flawless image possible. From filters that enhance one's appearance to facetune that alters the shape of one's body, social media deceives the eyes of those who observe and creates unrealistic standards that everyone tries to attain. Young girls have become a part of a game that is impossible to win, so stop trying. Your worth should never be at question. If you hear anything from what I am saying, it is that you were given your specific body for a reason, and it is perfect the way it is. It is unfair to compare yourself to influencers or celebrities on Tik Tok, Instagram, and Snapchat because you are comparing yourself to an unrealistic, curated and edited ideal.
You are you and you should love, show off, and be proud of you.
3. Adjust Your Expectations This Summer
Your body shape is a product of a few things and genetics is the biggest one. There is nothing wrong with having a healthy diet, working out to feel your best, or setting achievable goals for yourself, but there are some things about your body you cannot change. It would be unrealistic for a girl with wide hips and a short torso to compare herself or wish to look like a girl with a small waist and a long torso. Those two body types are different, not because of what they eat or how they work out, but because that is the body they were born with. One cannot be the other, and both are amazing how they are! Learn to love the things that you wish you could change, and understand that comparing yourself to someone else with a completely different body shape than you is useless and hurtful. You can learn how to dress your body shape and embrace it to become the best version of you! Once you realize this and put it into practice, you will feel a sense of relief and be able to let those things go and accept your body for the way it is.
4. Understand That Not Everyone Is Thinking About You
I have spent so much time worrying about what other people are thinking about me. Before I go somewhere I think about what others will think of me, my outfit, how I look, how my body looks, ect. As a college student, I used to spend my day trying to figure out what other people were wearing to this party so I could wear something similar and ensure that I fit in. Reality check! I hate to break it to you, but no one is thinking about you, looking at you, or worrying about what you look like. Everyone is just as focused on themselves as you are. No one is thinking about that one girl's outfit or makeup at a party or that someone’s bikini at the beach. Your mind is your biggest critic, and you are judging yourself way more than anyone else is. And even if they were looking at you, so what! Most things girls do are out of jealousy, so take it as a compliment and move on with confidence.
5. Do Things That Make You Feel Pretty
I don’t know about you, but my favorite part of the day is getting ready. Sitting down, doing your makeup, and styling your hair can honestly be therapeutic and a break from the business in your day. Getting ready doesn’t only include makeup, it includes taking care of your skin too. You should take care of yourself and your skin, enjoy the morning and night time routine and spend time on yourself. Use products that enhance your natural beauty, take care of your skin, and make you feel pretty!
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