Taking Up Space in the Classroom

To the girls that routinely pick the seat in the furthest corner of the classroom. 

To the girls that make themselves small in group projects or classmate collaborations. 

To the girls who overthink every presentation and public speaking event. 

That constantly worry and ruminate over their words in academic settings. 

To the girls who are too afraid to even raise a hand, no matter how captivating the subject is, no matter how knowledgeable you are about it. 

I understand you, I see you, I was you. 

For many years of my life, It felt as though I was stuck in this cycle of limiting myself in school. I would allow others to speak for me, to use my ideas without credit. I would intentionally make myself as invisible as possible, choosing isolation over even the slightest possibility of embarrassment. And, as the years went on in this state of social paralysis, the harder it became to break out of it. 

In my freshman year of college, I began to understand the true disadvantage my fears had imposed on me. College is the time of your life to step out of your comfort zone, and I knew that. I knew that I wanted to grow and thrive in my classes and projects, but my limiting habits in high school had made that desire seem daunting and hard to attain. When I found it hard to speak in my mandatory seminar classes, I knew change was necessary.

With all that being said, I have good news: it starts with this. Recognizing that you want to break out of your shell is the first step in taking action to do it! So, if you’re looking for some ways to become more comfortable with being your authentic self in school, you’ve come to the right place. Here’s a few pointers that helped me gain that much needed confidence. 

1. Baby Steps

If you want to grow comfortable with public speaking, it's not going to happen overnight. You have to start small before you go big, which puts an emphasis on celebrating little victories. Challenge yourself in ways you haven’t before, like sitting in the front of the classroom. This minute change in setting will oblige you to be more attentive and involved, as the class and professor are your immediate surroundings. 

2. Small Talk (Sorry Not Sorry!)

One-on-one conversations can sometimes be awkward, especially if you’re just getting to know someone. But, you already have one thing in common with your peers– you’re both in this class, and that alone gives you plenty to talk about. Initiate the conversation through something relatable, like asking about the class material or how their semester is going. I know it feels a bit scary in the moment (especially to us shy girls), but it will only benefit you in the long run.

Making the effort to get to know your classmates personally can help alleviate the pressure of speaking in front of a group. Not only this, but having colleagues in class can ease the stress of the workload, as you now have someone to rely on for advice and support. These tiny interactions will ultimately help in your quest for confidence, as it’s almost a form of practice for public speaking. 

3. Write it Out

If you're someone who tends to stumble over their words in public settings, write down your thoughts in bullet points. This is the key to speaking confidently and with intention, as you’re able to give yourself a guide. 

When I was in school, my notebooks were filled with scribbles of thoughts on the topic at hand. This gave me a moment to gather my ideas physically and ensure that they were spoken clearly and without disruption. It helped me regain my confidence to speak aloud in the classroom, and after months of practicing this, I no longer even needed to do it! Treat it as a type of safeguard, something to look at if you begin to feel nervous. I can attest that later down the line, you’ll thank yourself for picking up this technique.

4. Affirmations

Another way to help yourself grow more comfortable with speaking in class is by telling yourself you deserve to. You are in school for a reason, and to deny yourself the chance to grow and learn is nothing but a disservice. Repeat affirmations in your head before speaking, before class, and even when you wake up in the morning. 

Here are a few affirmations that I had on rotation:

• I believe in myself and my abilities.

• I am strong and brave, I can handle anything that comes my way.

• I can do whatever I put my mind to.

Most importantly, remember that you are allowed to take up space. Trust me, I know that anxious feeling before big presentations. I have felt that sense of unease for most of my academic career, but after practicing these techniques, I was able to find my courage and voice. I believe in you, and you should most definitely believe in you too.