You Never Know What Someone Is Going Through

By McKena Pennington

For the longest time, I used to take things so personally.

When people mistreated me, whether through coldness, judgment, or outright disrespect, I would carry it like a weight. I’d get angry. I’d overthink. I’d try to understand what I did wrong or how I could’ve shown up better. But what I have started to realize is: sometimes, it’s not you at all. Sometimes, people are just projecting their own pain.

And that realization shifted everything.

I’ve always known I’m an empath. I feel a lot. I pick up on things most people overlook, tones, energies, silences. But for most of my life, I saw that as a burden. Feeling so deeply meant I was constantly absorbing the moods of others, especially the negative ones. But recently, I’ve started to see my sensitivity as a strength.

Instead of letting anger consume me, I’ve been choosing empathy instead.

The Shift: From Reaction to Reflection

There was a moment , one of those seemingly small, forgettable ones, where someone snapped at me out of nowhere. My old self would’ve either matched their energy or gone home in tears, questioning myself. But this time, I saw it differently. I noticed the way their shoulders slumped, the tiredness in their eyes. And I realized: this isn’t about me. It’s about what they’re carrying that I can’t see.

That’s the thing: you never know what someone is going through.

They could be dealing with heartbreak, trauma, financial stress, anxiety, family issues, mental health battles, and still show up to work, school, or your conversation with a smile (or a snap). And while that doesn’t excuse mistreatment, it does explain a lot.

Grace vs. Boundaries

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you should be nice to everyone who disrespects you. Empathy doesn’t mean being a doormat. There are people who, after showing you repeatedly that they don’t respect your boundaries or energy, deserve to be cut off. And that’s okay.

Because it’s not always about what someone does, it’s about the principle of it. If someone has shown you time and time again that you’re not aligned, you are allowed to walk away with grace.

But there are also people who deserve a second chance. People who are acting from a place of pain, not malice. And for them, I’ve found that compassion opens doors that conflict never could.

Sometimes, all it takes is a conversation. A soft moment. A “hey, are you okay?” instead of silent resentment or passive anger. We’re all just trying to figure life out, and sometimes people lash out when they don’t know how to ask for help.

Protecting Your Peace While Staying Open

Choosing empathy over anger doesn’t mean denying your feelings. It means understanding them, and choosing to respond, not react.

There is freedom in realizing that not everything is personal. That someone else’s bad mood, cold behavior, or negative energy doesn’t reflect your worth, it reflects their internal state. When you shift your mindset in this way, it’s like emotional armor. You move through the world with less bitterness, less anxiety, and more peace.

That said, protecting your peace is key. You can wish someone healing and still cut them off. You can forgive and still keep your distance. Empathy doesn’t mean access.

Loving Me, Loving Life

Now, I love who I am, soft-hearted, sensitive, aware. I love my life and the way I’m learning to meet pain with grace instead of resentment. I’m still human, and yes, disrespect hurts. But instead of letting that hurt sit in me and grow into bitterness, I’m letting it guide me to understanding.

I’ve found that when I lead with kindness, not to manipulate, not to prove anything, but simply because I want to, it transforms me. It frees me from guilt. It makes me proud of who I am, no matter how someone else acts.

Final Thought

So the next time someone says something sharp or acts out of character, take a breath. Step back. Ask yourself: What if this isn’t about me? What if they’re just hurting, too?

You never know what someone is going through, but you can always choose how you show up in the face of it.