From Bestie to Roomie: The Ultimate Guide to Living With Your Girls

By:  Sara Volka

So, it finally happened. The lease has been signed, the hunt on FaceBook Marketplace is (almost) complete, and the new roommate group chat is in full swing for this upcoming semester. Girls, this is cause for a huge celebration. Take it from someone who knows, living with your besties will be just as exciting– if not more– than you are already anticipating it to be. 

Before the pop of the celebratory champagne bottle echoes through your empty apartment, though, it’s important to note a few things.

Living with your besties comes with a whole new set of specific challenges, some that may cause some unneeded and unwanted tension. To combat this, and any hurt feelings from your beloved friends; here’s a complete guide to transitioning as besties from a distance to besties down the hall. 

1. Communication is KEY 

We’ve all been there. A miscommunication happens between friends and it lands us in a tough spot. Someone may only be able to work on a strict schedule, while the other takes the day as it comes. Someone may prioritize down time over having people over. Someone may even stack their dishes in a certain way and feel strongly about that. What may seem small to you, may mean a whole lot more to someone else, especially when it comes to sharing spaces. 

If disagreements arise, try not to get caught up in the jumbled mess of hurt feelings. The remedy to these small blunders is simple– just talk. Instead of avoiding the situation and letting resentment build, find a moment to speak with your friend at a time that is comfortable for everyone. By allowing each other to voice your concerns openly, you will reach positive conclusions, and will be able to create a space that is both honest and healthy. 

While it can be a bit awkward to sit down and have a serious conversation with someone you’re usually silly with, it is essential. Trust me, this will not only benefit both of you in this moment, but also in the future. God forbid another miscommunication arises with someone who’s not your friend. In the case that this does happen, here's some tips on how to navigate that. https://www.ourmuuz.com/post/so-you-ve-got-a-not-so-great-roommate 

2. The Big Boundary Discussion 

Set. Your. Boundaries. 

I cannot emphasize how important it is to do this. Boundaries lie in the framework of any functional relationship, and for good reason! To set boundaries is to let someone know what you are comfortable and uncomfortable with. In a relationship where you will be sharing not only an apartment, but products (and sometimes even emotions), boundaries will play a major role. 

It is best to have the Big Boundary Discussion in the beginning of your year when the lease is freshly signed. This is your chance to draw any lines that you may need to, and also understand where your friends' lines are drawn. This can include conversation over quiet hours, sharing, and down time in the common areas. For more insight into which boundaries to discuss in your conversation, here's an in depth article that outlines different types of boundaries. https://www.helpguide.org/relationships/social-connection/setting-healthy-boundaries-in-relation ships

While you may be besties and think you know everything about each other, there is always something more to learn. Boundaries are a great way of understanding each other even more, and it will only bring you two peas closer together in your cozy little pod. To learn someone is to love them! 

3. Your Time is Valuable, Schedule It 

I can hear the collective sigh from the screen as I write this. I know, scheduling can be a tedious task, one that you're probably all too familiar with due to your demanding classes. However, it's hard to be busy and have a social life, which is why scheduling becomes important even in your personal endeavors. 

Blocking out time is not just for homework, it is also for personal time, friend time, and even cleaning. Whatever you may prioritize, write out dedicated times on your schedule. A physical demonstration of said time blocks is also beneficial. Need some inspiration on how to stay organized and on top of your responsibilities? Here’s an article that will not only elevate your mindset at college, but also elevate your space. 

https://www.thespruce.com/dorm-organization-ideas-5323709 

For me personally, Sundays were spent getting breakfast with my girls and resetting my room. Check out this article on how to go about your reset days! 

https://www.ourmuuz.com/post/sunday-reset-how-to-set-yourself-up-for-success-for-the-upcomi ng-week. 

It is important to allow yourself time to recharge. This will not only benefit your relationship with yourself, but your relationship with your roommates as well. We don’t want to feel overwhelmed where we spend most of our time! 

4. Balance 

In conglomeration with every other discussion point marked in this article, balance will come naturally. Though, it is still important to keep the idea of balance in your head in your day to day life. 

College can be a lot, we all know that much. Finding stability between classes, homework, friends, personal time, and daily activities like cooking and cleaning is no doubt a task to be constantly refined. Our lives are ever changing, and while away at college it seems this is only accelerated. 

It's essential to remember that everyone around you is feeling the exact same way, especially your friends turned roommates. Living with your best friends, while challenging at some points, will only create a stronger bond. You have someone to rely on, to laugh with, and to do mundane tasks with (which I argue is the best way to spend time with friends). These are the building blocks to help develop your communication skills not just for now, but for later in life.

Learning how to incorporate other people's perspectives into your life will open doors that you did not even know existed. Ultimately, and whole heartedly, this will be a time to remember. So soak it in, have fun, and drink lots of champagne. I’m excited for you!