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Updated: Sep 21, 2023

As a girl, I think it’s fair for me to say that girls are not always the easiest people to be friends with. Between the drama, gossip, boys and everything in between, oftentimes it’s also fair to think that friend groups are not for everyone. But, if you’re in a position where you just don’t know what you’re doing wrong or you want to know what you can do better to maintain good relationships, I’m here to tell you all that I can. From how to be a better friend to how to avoid future drama, here’s a list of everything you must do to not only be a good friend but attract better friends in your future.

1. Let Go Of The Competing And Comparing

As women, it’s almost impossible to not be insecure about the way that we look, the things that we do or everything in between. It’s important to remember that not everyone talks about their insecurities, but deep down we all have them. With that being said, it’s SO important that when it comes to friendships, we leave those insecurities at the door.

Friends are meant to lift each other up and make us feel like the best versions of ourselves and the last thing we should ever be doing is bringing our insecurities into our friendships and deflecting them on to other people. There’s no need to compare yourself to your friends or compete with them because a friendship is a team, and your wins are their wins and vice versa.

To maintain a good friendship, both people in the relationship have to see the friendship almost like a team, not opponents. Friendships that are constantly competitions are not friendships that last. You want to celebrate the wins with your friend, not compete for them.

2. Reciprocate The Energy

Just like relationships, friendships also require effort from both ends. A friendship is not going to work if one person is always making plans while the other puts in little to no effort in doing the same. Vice versa, it’s hard to be friends with someone who is constantly blowing up the other friend’s phone, trying to spend every waking moment with that person.

There needs to be a balance in your friendship and you need to understand where that balance is. It’s about respecting each other’s space and personal lives, but also being there when your friend needs you. If your friend is constantly reaching out to you and you’re not doing the same, eventually they’re going to feel like they’re just bothering you. It’s important to reciprocate the same energy to make them feel just as important.

3. Find Empathy For Others

Empathy is the ability to feel for what other people are going through and it’s extremely necessary in all relationships in your life. Whether your friend just got a poor grade on their exam, they’re having trouble in their relationship or it’s just been one of those days, it’s important that you understand how they are feeling and know how to be there for them in that moment.

Friends are there for each other in all moments of life, the highs and lows and everything in between. By having empathy for your friends, you are letting them know that they are important to you and that you are here for them. When friends are unempathetic to one another, it makes people feel like they are irrelevant or unimportant in the other person’s life.

Showing empathy is the quickest and easiest way to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, allowing yourself to better understand your friend and how you can support them. By always being empathetic, you are prioritizing your friendship and letting your friend know how much they mean to you.

4. Don’t Be A Mean Girl

As much as we all love the movie Mean Girls, no one actually wants to be friends with one. If you’re constantly having friend troubles, it’s important to take a step back and make sure that you are also being a good friend. This means that you’re not talking bad behind anyone’s back, you’re looking out for one another and you keep their best interest at heart.

It’s extremely hard to maintain good relationships if you aren’t choosing to be a good person. Mean girls have bad intentions, they say bad things about each other and they do bad things behind each other’s back. To stay in good graces with all of your friends, steer away from any “mean girl” activity.

The opposite way to see this is to always try to be a “nice girl.” Have your friend’s backs and stand up for them if you hear someone say anything bad. Make sure they’re taking care of themselves and always help them look and feel their best. Friends look out for each other and that’s what we should all be doing for the girls in our group.

5. Make Sure Your Putting Yourself Out There

It’s hard to maintain friendships if you’re always hiding in the dark. OF course, we all have our busy lives with school, jobs, family and other priorities, but it’s important that you ar also making time for your friends. Whether this means that you are the one making the plans for the group chat this weekend or just that you make a few sacrifices to stick around for the shenanigans, it’s important that you are making the time too.

Being inclusive is the hardest part when it comes to girl friend groups, so it’s important to keep that in consideration when you’re trying to maintain relationships. Sometimes girls just don’t think about the big picture or forget to invite “everyone” so it never hurts to put yourself out there and ask what the plans are for the weekend or reach out to see if anyone wants to do something with you.

Lastly, sometimes this means you have to make a few sacrifices to maintain friendships. You can’t hang out with your boyfriend every day and then expect your friends to stick around for you. Make sure you are making enough time for all the important things in your life, including your girl friends too!

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