Say Yes to that ‘SideQuest’: The Spring Semester Senior Blues

By: Brooke Erickson

So there I was, moping on the floor of my living room in my semi-temporary pseudo-nest (a LoveSac surrounded by pillows), as this semester, for whatever reason, I’d opted to use my last five months of my apartment to its fullest extent. What I was sulking about-who knows-but one can only assume it was the single-girl Sunday-night mood swings that still seem to get the best of me. What could this week possibly have in store that might medicate this sinister Sunday?

To console myself, I decided to reach out in the name of research. I polled my friends, and basking in my own melancholy, decided to inquire about everyone’s favorite topic: regrets. Hurrah, hurrah-I know, I’m such a ball of sunshine. I’m kidding, but I was curious. Feeling nostalgic and sentimental, I asked them to reflect on the past four years. What is one thing that stands out to you that you wish had gone differently? And if given all-consuming power, would you realistically go back and change it-and how?

While I received a mixed bag of answers, of course- ranging from boy troubles to academic setbacks to roommate problems- I also received a harmonious conclusion, one I will consider in every decision I make this final semester. The girls spoke and unanimously agreed on one thing: they wished they had said yes more.

Yes to what? Surely that sounds dangerous. Let me be clear: there are also plenty of experiences the girls wished they had said no to. But seeing as we are all boarding the same sentimental boat, and are at the point where every get-together is accompanied by a sad undertone (cue Scott Street by Phoebe Bridgers), one can only ruminate on what could have been versus what couldn’t.

Knowing that whatever activity we are doing, mundane or not- will be one of the last times we are doing it. Every conversation seems to veer into feeling homesick for the present. Spoiler: your last semester of college is a weird time (duh). Every interaction is an invitation for reflection and is sprinkled with a wistful enthusiasm that ensures no matter what complicated emotions are held between you, there is concrete care- and in extreme cases, love. Or at the very least, someone you will remember this time by.

Personally speaking, I am a homebody through and through. While I’ve grown to be more active and energetic throughout my time in college, I’m still very much navigating the anxiety that comes with new experiences. That is something that can only be mended through trial and error, yes, but also through plain time.

There is little I can say regarding my own personal regrets, because I’m happy to echo the same sentiment as my friends. The clear line through everyone’s answers- along with saying yes more- was that while we may wish things had gone differently, we would not realistically change our experiences. One of my friends synthesized this thought quite concisely: “I never would have learned how to be independent, responsible, self-assured, a good friend, a good student, or a hard worker without first being the opposite of those qualities.”

This lends itself to a broader cultural concept- i.e., the death of the clean girl. You’ve heard of her, surely. I’m kidding; she’s certainly alive and kicking, especially at the collegiate age, where constant chaos requires order and control. But as trends move and cultural values shift, there is now a loud calling to go back into the world, even if it means being tired at your meeting tomorrow.

A “side quest” often has the connotation of a crazy night out, one dusted in glitter and ending in rabid havoc. And while it can surely mean that (and I do heavily encourage it from time to time), it doesn’t have to be taken that far. I guess what I’m getting at is simply making it a point to experience new things as much as you can, even if it scares you- big or small, social or academic, productive or the complete opposite.

So say yes to plans. Say yes to opportunities. Say yes to accepting outside tutoring help. Go out to dinner. Go to breakfast before class. Be the first one to reach out. Suggest a biweekly ritual or activity. Join some sort of community. And collect physical media along the way so you can share it with your kids one day (junk journals, photo booth pictures, tickets, Polaroids, letters).

Final Thoughts

Whether you are in your final year of high school or college, I know it’s hard to live presently when every other moment is bombarded with pressure to think about the future. But if you can step away from your work to get coffee with a friend, catch a movie, or yes, stay out late even if it means you’re a little sick tomorrow, please do it. Your future self will thank you.

But also remember, in this final stretch, don’t make yourself feel guilty over time “wasted.” Time is always filled with something.