The Quiet End of Friendships

By: McKenna Pennington

Graduating high school, entering college, graduating college, entering new love

relationships can all lead to friendship fade outs. Times change and maybe you and a

friend don't seem to be on the same wavelength anymore and that's ok!

I think growing up we all believed that the friends we made in high school will

be forever, and while that may be true for some friendships, it's not for all. Plans

change, life goals shift, and all of a sudden you have grown apart from a person you

would’ve never believed wouldn’t be in your life.

When it’s Nobody's Fault

These friendship changes seem to come out of nowhere, like you didn’t even

realize it was happening until one day the texts seem shorter and the plans never

happen. But it's not because someone gave up and put in no more effort, both of you

have probably switched focus and prioritized other people, or have grown to love

hobbies and interests that are no longer shared.

Yet, it is nobody's fault. The friendship didn't have an explosive fight or betrayal;

it simply faded. A soft, slow letting go, not out of hate, but out of growth. Especially for

women, friendships are a big part of our lives, who we are, and what we love, so these

breakups can hurt the most. Yet, I have grown to learn people come and go in the right

moments of your life, and it can sting when they leave but their absence is allowing

you to form stronger connections with people right in front of you, ones that help you

in the current life stage you are in.

Handling the Phase-Out Gracefully

As I have said, the phase out can hurt and can leave you confused on why something so good, full of love, happiness, connection, and more is no longer shared between a person. In these moments of confusion it’s important to focus on the good that came from this friendship. Remember the memories and how you grew into the person you are today with them by your side. 

Now with their space empty, you are able to explore new experiences, interests and hobbies that not only allow you to reach your full potential, but meet new people that share the same ideals within this moment of your life. This time is meant for growth, and self reflection. Not trying to force a reconnection with a past friendship out of loneliness, but allow yourself a chance to grow deeper with present friendships and new chapters.

A Soft Goodbye 

Phasing out isn’t the same as forgetting. It’s just choosing peace over pressure. And these old friendships can also be rekindled when the time is right. I am not saying completely forget about them, but focus on the good, be present with your current self, and do what's best for you. This isn’t harsh, everyone changes and should! Allow yourself to create the life you dream of and your dream friends will join you by your side. 

I will always be grateful for past friendships, they have made me who I am! No bitterness, just good memories, and always an opportunity to reconnect when the time is right!