By: Alexa Nissim
If someone asked me how many true, genuine friends I have, I could probably count them all on my hands. I used to think it was a big problem that I didn’t have 50+ friends. After endless rants about making friends, I realized that it’s all about quality over quantity.
Reflect On Your Own Situation
The first thing you should do is ask yourself, would having more friends really make a difference? My mom would always refer to coins and friends. Would you rather have four quarters or 100 pennies? The total value is the same, but the value per coin is higher when you have only four. Even if you only have a few strong friendships, don't sweat about the things you see on social media. Most importantly, don’t compare your life to what you see on social media because most of the time it is not an accurate representation of a person’s life.
Shift Your Focus
It sounds a little scary but look for those people that you see yourself being friends with for the rest of your life. Try to deepen your friendship with people you find yourself navigating to and someone who has your back. Someone who just uses you or talks to you when it’s convenient for them is not a good friend. I would suggest trying to prioritize your emotional well-being over feeling the need to glorify big friend groups on social media. Growing up, people romanticize the idea of having a huge friend group, but shifting your focus away from that can help you grow and truly make friends that will last a lifetime.
Tips On Making Friends:
I’m definitely not a pro, but I’ll share some ideas on how to make friends that have worked for me. First, try to find people with similar interests in clubs or activities. I made close friends
through classes and clubs where I could make small talk with people about our everyday lives. One of my closest friends in college is someone I met in my freshman year philosophy class.
Also, don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. Go to parties or ask someone to grab dinner or coffee together. Spending more quality time with people lets you connect with them and become even closer.
At the end of the day, having good friends starts with being a good friend. You want to put out the same energy you would want to have in a friend. Be patient and don’t force anything that doesn't feel natural.
There might be pressure but most of the time the girls in big friend groups aren’t even happy with their friends. At the end of the day, you should surround yourself with people who uplift you and don’t bring you down. Having a few friends to count on, who always pick up the phone and never talk bad about you in the rooms you aren’t in is way more valuable than 100 friends who you can’t count on.
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