Surviving a Hometown Ex-Situationship This Holiday:

You can tell yourself it won’t happen. You’re only home for a few days. You don’t even go out like that anymore. You’ll avoid the usual spots. You’ll keep your head down. And yet.

Running into your ex situationship is basically a hometown rite of passage. It’s not dramatic. It’s not fate. It’s just what happens when you go back to a place where your life used to overlap with theirs. So instead of being shocked when it happens, it’s better to be prepared.

Because the worst part isn’t seeing them. It’s what happens in your head right after. The overthinking. The replaying. The urge to read into a look, a smile, a “we should catch up.” Suddenly you’re questioning progress you know you’ve made.

Here’s what to do when it happens.

First, don’t panic. You don’t owe them a version of you that proves anything. You don’t need to look unbothered or overly friendly. Just be normal. Calm. Polite. That’s it. Growth doesn’t need to announce itself.

Second, remember why it ended. Situationships don’t usually end because of one bad moment. They end because something was missing. Clarity. Effort. Consistency. Seeing them again doesn’t change that. Nostalgia is powerful, but it’s selective.

Third, don’t confuse familiarity with connection. Of course it feels easy to talk to them. You already know each other. That doesn’t mean it’s meaningful. It just means it’s familiar. Those two things aren’t the same, even if they feel similar in the moment.

Fourth, don’t agree to a “catch up” out of politeness. You’re allowed to say no without explaining yourself. You’re allowed to protect your peace even if nothing “bad” is happening. You don’t need closure from someone who was never clear with you in the first place.

And finally, don’t romanticise the timing. Seeing them during the holidays can make everything feel heavier. Emotions are already closer to the surface. That doesn’t mean it’s a sign to revisit something you outgrew.

Running into your ex situationship doesn’t mean you’ve gone backwards. It just means you went home. Let it be a moment, not a storyline. You can acknowledge it, learn from it, and still leave with your life exactly where you left it. The one you built without them.